I've kind of drifted away from blogging, since i barely had time to breathe in the past 6 months. My two best friends have recently started there's and from time to time post something. Since we transferred out of the same school we have lost touch a little bit, so reading them helps to keep myself informed about their lives.
Axel transferred and is now stationed at a private school about an hour or so away from my new school. G, we both kind of left behind. I can honestly say that without those two I would have never survived Long Island. That disgusting place was basically hell to me. They taught me to stand up for myself and that no matter what, it doesn't matter where we all end up in life that there's always going to be someone there. Its painful to know that one was left behind. That G is going through some really tough times and Axel and I aren't there to really help. We're just a bunch of bystanders that are watching one of our dearest friends fall into the wrong crowd and drown in a sea of her own thoughts. Now that we are split up it might feel as if we don't literally have that shoulder to cry on anymore, but in reality we're just a phone call away.
Its tough being in a new school, again, trying to make new friends when you already know you have the best ones that you'll probably ever have. The one's that can walk into your room without knocking, see you naked, sit down at your desk and start talking about their day. The kind of friends that will sit in an emergency room for hours because one of your best's was in a bar fight trying to protect you. The ones that, even though you're hundreds of miles away from them, still treat you as though you live right down the hall.
My "best friends" from home, now that I am in a new school, have decided that they are the only one's that matter in my life. One of them just watches as our relationship with the other dwindles into nothing. The thing I love about my true best friends is that not only do I feel like I've grown up with them, but that they don't demand my time. They don't tell me that I have to see them. They actually understand that even though we might not talk every day, every week, or maybe even that month, that they will always be in my heart. I will see them when the chance arises. I think of them everyday when I wake up when I look over on my desk, or taped on my wall, the pictures of alot of our good times. That'll never change. Its strange to me how I can have friends from home that I've know for roughly 8 years decided that they are the only people in my life who are important. WRONG. Its funny how life works out. I"ve know Axel and G for about a year and a half and they mean more to me than alot of people ever will.
Thoughout college, I have realized that no one really matters. I have my boy, who is one of the best rocks I could ask for. He's able to get through my stubborn sarcastic side and help me to see what others may be thinking, to maybe take them into consideration. It doesn't always work, haha, but he tries. He's helped me to talk about things when I'm upset instead of closing up and not letting anyone know that something's bothering me. If he wasn't so good at knowing that I was upset we probably wouldn't have the kind of relationship that we do, one based off of friendship and a firm foundation of communication. He's taught me to only care about those who would hop in their car and drive to see me if i really needed them. I've found them and don't plan on letting them go.
Sometimes it isn't who you'd die for, but who you're willing to live for. <3
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